Today was the funeral of my husbands step-brother, Nate. It was a very sad and emotional time for everyone. He was 30 years young. I cannot imagine the emotions and feelings that Chuck, my husbands step-father, must be feeling. It really shows me how being a parent is such an important, meaningful role that we play in our children's life and how much are children truly mean to us.
From the day we learn about the conception of our child, we already are able to list the hopes and dreams we have for them even before we know their gender or even have their names chosen. We never doubt what our kids may be able to achieve. We hope and pray that no negative influence come in the way of these dreams. We wish them happy lives filled with success, a loving wife/husband and of course, we want the grandchildren as well. When we realize that we are unable to see those things take place, I can only imagine the terrible feeling that must be.
When something pulls our child off a great path, it's hard to say what is the best way to intervene. Is it tough love or do we keep letting them make mistakes over and over again with the hope that they will "snap out of it"...? There is no right answer. A parent who uses tough love and loses a child may say that they shouldn't have; or that they could've done more. On the other hand, the parent that loses a child after forgiving and helping their child over and over again may say that tough love would have done the trick. There is no way to know. As parents we do what we feel is best for our child. It's easy to say in retrospect, maybe I should have done this or tried that. In reality, we do what we can and we try our best to ensure the well being of our children. No one has the right answer but God himself.
At the funeral, Chuck spoke about unconditional love and the importance of telling the people you care about, especially your children, how much you love them. Please do so.
I hope that you can all keep Chuck and the rest of the Brink family in your prayers.