Capturing our Moments

Clint's cousin Mike married a wonderful lady who has been such a blessing in our lives.  Not only is she one of the most kind hearted people I know, but she is an amazing photographer.  I believe that she is much more talented than she believes herself to be.  She is constantly challenging herself and continually working to learn more.  We first asked Lisa to take photos at our home of our family the first Fall that Jude was here.  We were so happy with the pictures that we decided we would make getting Fall photos an annual experience.  With Gwenyth's expected arrival, I knew I wanted Lisa there to capture one of her and Jude's early encounters and our family together in the hospital.  Luckily, she was available to come the following day when Clint was able to bring Jude for his second meeting with her. 

Here are some of the photo's Lisa took.  If you can believe it, these are unedited pictures!  I would have sworn that they were edited because of how wonderful and clear they turned out. 

I am so happy with the way that they turned out.  They were exactly the types of pictures that I had in mind.  She has captured so many priceless moments for us and I cannot tell you how much I cherish them.  I highly recommend her if you are ever in need of a photographer.  She has an amazing blog that can be found here, and you can search Pictured Poetry Photography on Facebook to see some of her work showcased there as well.  She is creative and full of ideas and works with you to get exactly what you have in mind and more. 

Gwenyth Rosemary

We have all returned from the hospital safe and sound and most importantly, HEALTHY!  I cannot express to you how overjoyed I am that Gwenyth has arrived with no complications what so ever.  Not only is she healthy, but so far (knock on wood) she has been the easiest baby ever.  We have always said that Jude was such a good baby, but his baby sister may have him beat.  We thought for sure that no one gets that lucky twice!  But....this girls sleeps like a champ, eats like a champ and I am unsure if she even knows how to cry sometimes.  In the short time she has been alive, I am pretty sure she has cried less than a total of ten minutes and that includes the crying that occurred when she immediately came into the world. 

Jude has taken to his baby sister really well.  He adores her.  The first time he met her he seemed a bit in shock that she was no longer in my belly and was now visible.  He hugged and kissed her over and over and wanted to be the only one that held her.  It was a moment I will never forget.

Everything went pretty smoothly with the induction and the labor.  The one fear I did have was the epidural, and of course what went terrible and was absolutely traumatizing?  The epidural.  I should mention first that I was already having heavy contractions and was in pain.  Not in the mood at all for any craziness.  So when the Anesthesiologist came in singing the only words she knew to the song, You're Beautiful by John Mayer to herself in a terrible singing voice...I had a bad feeling immediately.  I was right to think so.  Not only did I get the whole epidural experience one time, but my lucky self got it FOUR times!  Yay me!  Not!  The lady kept talking to herself and was saying things like I am not sure if I can do this because you are small and your have smaller spaces to go between, then she would attempt it.  She kept jabbing me and saying, I keep hitting your bones....and said "if I were to get an epidural for anything, I would have so and so do it".  She mentioned the name of a coworker.  She said, if I can't get it, I will have to call him down.  Needless to say, she was overly confident for awhile and kept attempting it between each of my contractions.  Then she said, "I better stop because I will end up giving you a spinal headache if I continue."  She called her coworker down and he got it in less than 15 seconds.  Her three attempts took an hour and a half.  It was an hour and a half of HELL!  For some reason, I am too kind to hurt someones feelings and be rude, but as soon as she left the room, I burst into uncontrollable tears. 

When she was born, I looked to see if I could see any physical characteristics of Down's Syndrome, I didn't.  I had asked my doctor at one of his checks during the waiting period for the Pitocin to kick in what they would do if the baby came and did have any characteristics of Down's.  He said they would do some bloodwork and some chromosomal testing.  I was too nervous to ask once she was born if the tests would be necessary.  During my pregnancy, I read a lot.  Something I came across, (I don't even remember where), a woman had a baby with Down's Syndrome and was in complete denial.  She so badly didn't want to believe it was true that she kept dismissing the idea that her child actually had it.  She kept telling herself that this or that unusual physical feature was like so in so's in her family, etc.  She said she made excuses for everything.  The first night in the hospital, Clint stayed with me.  The second night, I wanted to stay alone with the baby and have him stay with Jude at home to help Jude adjust and let me have longer to recover and rest.  That second night alone I just stared at her wondering if maybe I wasn't seeing things that maybe others were; that maybe I was doing the same thing that woman was doing and everyone else was just too nice to say anything to me.  From the time she was born, everytime a new nurse came to check on us, I kept waiting to see if they would react strangely or I would say, "everything is fine, right?"  It was almost as if I needed to hear it over and over from everyone that she was just fine.  Every time I heard it, I was more reassured. 

I want to thank all of you that kept our family in your prayers and even added us to your church's prayer list.  I am confident that it is through your prayers and support that we were blessed with a healthy, beautiful baby girl.  Words cannot express our gratitude.

Baby time

So...we are at the hospital ready to have baby Gwenyth. It is crazy to think that today is the day.  At the moment, we are just in the waiting stage.  To be honest, I am bored out of my mind and am starving.  I want more than ice chips and popcicles please.  I thought eating egg and fruit for breakfast would hold me over but I was wrong. 
I am so ready for her arrival.  I just want to get the show on the road.  I haven't been given any pitocin yet but was given something to soften the cervix.  Depending on the status of my next check, they will break my water which will definately speed things along from what I remember last time. 
My doctor came in to see me and asked me if I had any questions...and I did.  I wanted to know what would be done to check for Down's Syndrome since we have such an increased chance.  He told me they will just look for characteristics, etc. first.  Then, if need be, do some chromosonal testing. 
I am scared of what my reaction might be.  I have not been able to think of anything else in the last two weeks.  I just have the phrase "please don't have Down's Syndrome...please be healthy " repeating in my head.  I am scared that the moment she comes out I will be looking for all the "signs" of it and not just being thrilled with the moment. It makes me feel guilty.
I know that either way we are blessed to have a baby than no baby at all.  We will get through it together.   I am hopeful everything will be just fine.

Kid in the kitchen.

Since Jude has been waking up so early lately and I am usually up since I am unable to sleep because of numbness in my arms I decided to let him help me make breakfast in bed for him and daddy tis past Monday.  It worked out nicely since Clint was home from work because of Memorial Day.  Jude loves to watch me cook and is eager to help in any way possible.  He loves to sprinkle spices, mix things with an egg beater, crack the eggs or pour one thing into another.  On this particular day, he cracked an egg, poured milk, beat eggs and made toast!  He was so excited and thrilled when it was all done.  He couldn't wait to tell daddy how he had helped.  It was too cute.  What's even cuter is this picture. 

I think it is so wonderful to watch kids in the kitchen.  While Clint was away this past week helping out at his Grandma's, I bought the fixings for homemade pizza.  I thought it would be a fun activity for Jude to make dinner.  He has helped make pizza before, but was only allowed to put toppings on.  This time he was able to "paint" olive oil on to the crust, pour and paint the sauce, add the cheese and place all the toppings.  He eound this thrilling.  Oh, the little things.  Here are pics of my cutie making dinner for himself and mommy.

Introducing Gwenyth

At my most recent ultrasound this past Thursday we got some wonderful pictures of our beautiful baby girl.  The doctor was worried that she was going to be quite small based on the measurements taken of my belly.  According to the ultrasound, that is definately not the case.  The ultrasound actually indicated that she is already at 5.8 lbs!  I texted a friend who is a doctor who confirmed that these are not exact.  If she is in fact that large now,  she could possibly be a 9.5 lb. baby!  That is scary since I was a 10 lb. baby. 

From the ultrasound pictures it is obvious she has my nose and Clint's lips just like Jude.  The technician also confirmed that she had a head full of hair which excites me.  We cannot wait to meet out pretty baby girl.

Vote for my Hubby!

I nominated my husband at a wonderful photographers website for a contest to win a free photoshoot.  I
thought that with Father's Day nott too far away, it would be a great way to recognize him.  Please follow this link, read our story and leave a comment at the bottom stating that you "vote for Clint".  I would greatly appreciate your support and will be thrilled to share the photos on my blog if we win!

Small

I have joked that the baby we are expecting is going to be huge because her kicks are so hard and when she moves, she moves with a lot of force.  Therefore, I thought for sure she must be much larger than Jude.  Jude was a mover and kicker, but he started about a month and a half after his sister and he wasn't as constant.

I had a doctors appointment today and I asked out of curiosity whether this baby is measuring larger than Jude did because I swear she must be huge and about ready to come out.  He said it was quite the opposite and that she is measuring quite small.  My immediate question was "could that be related to the possible Down's Syndrome?"  He said no, but he wants to see what is going on when he gets my glucose results back tomorrow and see with an ultrasound why this may be.  If I don't have the Diabetes this time, I assume that could be the explanation since babies of mothers with Gestational Diabetes tend to be larger.  Jude was 7 lbs 13.6 oz.  A pretty decent sizes baby I'd say.

Now with this on my mind...it has been my new constant thought.  Of course I have done my searches online and I instantly regretted it as I do every time I hear that there is a possibility of something being abnormal or wrong.  They always have the worse case scenarios published...and I look at those ones much more closely than I do others.

Please God do not let anything else be "possibly" wrong.

Maybe, maybe not.

As the due date draws nearer, I am more consumed by the what if that is still in the back of my mind.  I say back of my mind....which is where it was (honestly) for quite some time, but as it gets closer I find the thoughts and worries creeping closer and closer to the front of it.  I keep finding myself thinking about it more and more and how it will change the dynamic of our family if our sweet Gwenyth does in fact have Down's Syndrome.  I have been trying to prepare myself...but how do you really do it? 

I have always been a believer of signs and I feel like something is telling me to prepare myself.  I don't know whether it is just because I know that the possibility is there that I am noticing it more or if its just that I have an increased awareness but I feel like I am coming into contact or being presented with children with Down's more and more. 

For example, while in Florida at a resort I saw a family at the pool who had an infant with Down's Syndrome.  The family looked as though they were having a wonderful time as their beautiful little girl watched the older kids in the pool happily from her stroller.  I have to shamefully admit that my first reaction to seeing the little girl and her family was compassion and pity.  I felt so bad that the little girl wasn't healthy for her own sake and for what it meant for her family.  Seconds later, I thought to myself "how is this any different than any other family?"  They were having what seemed like a normal, fun filled family vacation like every other family that was there.  I told myself.....I can do this.

When we got home, I was watching a TV program featuring Albert Pujols who is a famous baseball player who does amazing work on and off the field.  He works very closely with children with Down's Syndrome.  Each year he organizes a prom for kids with Down's.  It told his story and his connection to the syndrome.  His wife's daughter, whom he considers his own has Down's.  It was obvious that he absolutely adored his little girl and was passionate about providing these children with an event that to healthy kids would be considered normal.  As soon as I saw the program was about Down's Syndrome, my heart dropped a little.  I thought...this must be another sign.  This must mean God is trying to prepare me, right?  I paused the program about three minutes into it and called Clint into the room.  I didn't disclose my fears or thoughts.  I just rewound the program to the beginning and said let's watch this.  It was inspiring.  It put me more at ease again.  I thought...there are so many opportunities and experiences out there that I need to explore.

Lastly, today I received my monthly Parents magazine.  On the back cover is a precious little girl featured in the Pampers ad that obviously has Down's Syndrome.  Was this another sign? 

I may be crazy.  But this is just how my mind works.  It is something I sometimes wish I could change about myself....but I can't.  I am wired to look very very very deep into things.  I analyze every aspect of every situation til I am worn out.  I do it til my brain cannot take anymore til it finds something else to consume itself with.  Do the signs I am noticing mean anything?  Maybe, maybe not.

So in putting my thoughts down...what have I learned?  I learned that regardless of what the outcome is, we can truly give our child the most normal childhood possible.  I know myself and I know my husband well enough that we will take on whatever we are dealt head on and do it to the best of our ability.  Am I saying that I am not afraid or that I am not constantly hoping that everything will be alright?  No.  Obviously, every parent wants the most healthy child possible.  I just know that we will make it.  No matter what....we can do anything together.

Last minute decision.....so unlike me.

Last Saturday during the craziness of preparing for Jude's 2nd Birthday party which was the following day, we decided that we were going to Florida for a family vacation and we would be leaving directly after the party!  It was very spur of the moment and unplanned.  If you know me at all, you will know that this is not like me at all especially when it comes to something such as a vacation.  I am a planner in every way, so when Clint asked if I was interested, I was a bit hesitant at first.  Even though I was already creating my extensive to do list in my mind, I figured, why not?  We agreed that it would be a great last trip with Jude before the arrival of his baby sister and it wasn't likely we would get he opportunity to vacation at such a little cost in the near future.  The family we went with already had a place to stay and cost us nothing, that was a major bonus.  Also, we were splitting gas, so that was a huge cost savings as well.  We couldn't see any cons in the situation, only pros.  So we went and enjoyed every moment.  We had valuable family time which is essential with preparations for football season looming around the corner.  We spent time having meals together, going to CoCoa Beach, walking around Downtown Disney, going for walks, spending time with other families we knew that were vacationing nearby, exploring nature, hanging out at the pool and simply talking.  Also, Clint was able to have guy time by going out with his friends, golfing and disc golfing as well.  It was a truly a memorable time.  Weather was gorgeous the entire time as well. 

Speaking of the weather, I experienced my very first sunburn during this trip.  I was told my skin would be more sensitive during pregnancy but silly me thought that meant only my belly.  I was wrong.  I put a lot of care into lathering my belly with sunscreen, ignoring the rest of me.  Before I knew it, my back was burnt.  It was the worst thing ever.  I now feel bad for those who burn regularly.  I was such a baby about the entire situation.  I whined continuously throughout the night and woke up three times to apply aloe.  Luckily, the next day it was all better and no longer painful.  I hope to never experience that again.

I would like to share a few of the pics from our trip.  Jude was adorable the entire time and every time I told him to smile or pulled out the camera, he flashed me the most gorgeous smile.

 Jude's tusha was hanging out when daddy threw him up.

 Here's that gorgeous smile I was telling you about.

 Playground at the resort.

 

 Two of the most handsome boys I know.

 Jude was not at all a fan of this guy.

 He loves "cycles".

 Family pic.

 Tiny tot craft time at the resort.  Jude painted a snake.

 He liked to finger-paint it.

 He REALLY loved this area.  Played in it for hours.

 What a happy boy.

 He looks like such a big boy here.

 Daddy and Jude going down the slide.

 Looks so tough.

 He looks like he is trying out for the Baywatch cast.

 What a beauty.

 He loved everything about the ocean, except the taste.

 Happy Boy.

 The love of my life.

 Mommy and Jude.

 Another family pic.

 We spotted two of these on our trip.

 And lots of these.

Spring---Please come soon!

I am so anxious for Spring to arrive.  I get my hopes up with every sunny day we have only to be disappointed when I see snow the following day. 

As I mentioned before, my mother in law is a florist.  When she does arrangements for an event I usually always benefit.  This weekend was no exception. Clint's wonderful cousin Emily is marrying a good friend of ours, Tony.  We cannot tell you how happy we are to see these two people share the rest of their lives together joined in love and marriage.  They are one if those couples that you say....something about them together is "just right".  They are both so kind hearted; the kind of people who would do anything for any one. On top of that, they both have an infectious sense of humor.  Well, this past weekend was their bridal shower and my mother in law did the centerpieces.  They were a few left over at the end so I was able to bring these beauties home.  Doesn't it get you excited for Spring as well?

Tulips make me think of Spring and that makes me smile!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Clint and I don't do much for Valentine's Day.  At most, we say "Happy Valentine's Day" if we remember.   We use to get eachother a card and a little something each year, but somehow silently agreed it was silly.  I think that it's a holiday that's cool when you're in high school and your boyfriend brings or has flowers or some other suprise delivered to you.  I suppose after you don't celebrate it for years and suddenly you actually do something, it makes it more exciting as well. 

That is what I decided to do this year.  This morning I decided to deliver a Valentine's Day themed lunch to my hubby at work with Jude.  By his reaction, I think he liked it a lot. I used my bento that I love so much to layer all the elements on top of one another.  I blogged about this wonderful bento here.

Here's what his lunch consisted of:

Layer one was a HUGE heart shaped brownie-freshly baked, a banana with "I am banana's for you" written on it and a salad underneath.  The salad had heart shaped cheese and tomatoes that spelled out "I love you".

Layer two had (2) Heart shaped sandwiches, fresh strawberries, a fruit crisp and his Raspberry Vinegarette salad dressing. 

Layer three was just (2) Valentine's Day cookies, his fave kind of cupcake (Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese frosting), and I cut and molded one of his Fiber One bars into a heart. 

 Cute, huh?  I think so...especially for deciding to do it the morning of.  What did you do for your someone special? 

Snow Much Fun

I have been eager to find a day that Clint, Jude and myself could play outside in the snow when it was still a little light out and when it wasn't miserble cold out.  Tuesday it finally happened.  I had dinner, delicious chicken and vegetable stir-fry with rice, on the table when Clint walked in the door.  We ate, bundled up and headed outdoors.  Jude liked it a lot.  Then, he saw his swing set and his dolphin swing hanging from it and HAD to get on it!  My baby loves to swing.  He loves it most of all when daddy sits in the swing next to him and swings with him.  It was getting dark so we said it was time to go in and of course a meltdown ensued.  On our way up to the house, he spotted his sled and cried because he wanted on.  Clint pushed him around on it and he could not stop laughing.  Of course, when the ride ended he cried again. 

I cannot tell you how much I love spending family time. It is when I am happiest. With another little one around, the joy will be doubled!